"It ain't quackers till I say so.." - R. Raphe
Once Upon A time we lived in a small town. A very small
town. It had a population of five hundred and one . The “one” being the
dog who was given a home at the firehall. As kids we all played
with that dog. Our neighbour was a Ms.
Ducks. Her real name, by the way.
She was
a bit of a quack. She liked carving ducks to sell in the local Saturday market. She was also the
town seamstress. She made most of the dresses
for proms, or weddings. Of course, the
high school was very small. Only 50 of
us, give or take. For prom the principal
had to invite a couple of other high
schools outside of town to participate.
It was always a big deal.
The mayor got a photographer from the big city, his wife
made snacks . Sometimes there were donuts.
Each of the grads paid $30 a
piece to get pictures. The boys went to
the big city to rent tuxedoes. Everyone wore sneakers. Or cowboy boots. The girls hired Ms. Ducks to make their
dresses.
Ms. Ducks designed all of her fancy dresses with
polka dots and a smattering of gold braid.
She always designed one for herself to wear at the market. Advertising
her thriving sewing business.
We used to go down there, just to see what she was wearing. She
always had the biggest gold braids draped across the sleeves. This past weekend
she had on a dark blue number with gold
braid trickling down her sides. Had a military feel to it. Sometimes she would march with the town’s River Cadets in
the Founders day Parade. They gave her a uniform for that. She liked best to
salute the podium as she marched by.
Everything was going along just fine, then Ms. Ducks decided
to concentrate on her wedding dress business.
She took to it like a hunting dog searching
for ducks. The girls who had prom dresses now wanted wedding dresses and Ms.
Ducks obliged. She designed a walkway
through her vast fields on her property. A walkway where her brides could put
on fashion shows.
She not only invited the
families of the brides but gave an open invitation to other towns. Not
many people came, though. She charged each person, even the brides in the
shows, $15 a person. They had to bring their own chairs. The first show she may have had fifteen people. She herself was the announcer. She wore one of her wedding dress creations, resplendent
in polka dots and gold braid. That turned out to be her theme throughout. They
were all dripping with gold braid.
At the end she herself walked the runway she had created , waving and smiling.
Eventually tripping on her long tulle wedding dress. She broke her arm. It shut
down her wedding dress business, which was okay cause not long after a small
plane mistook the runway for the airport. It landed in the field. To the delight of all the
town children who ran to see.
Ms.
Ducks got fined
for building a runway in the first place. No permits. But she fell in love with the pilot and they
got married the following year. She wore
one of her wedding dress creations, with the polka dots and gold braid. She
insisted he wear his aviator outfit. He looked quite dashingThey
opened a Duck shop in the village where
they sold duck decoys. Ms. Ducks never made any more wedding dresses. Eventually, she had to turn over all of the gold braid she’d
been using to the local River Cadets who found out she’d been pilfering braid from their storage lockers. They only figured it out when they saw her wedding dresses at the
show.
Ms.
Ducks was charged and had to pay a fine. The judge, who was her cousin twice
removed, allowed her to keep her duck
shop. Her new husband, one
day, flew off into the sky to never
return. Very mysterious .
Ms.
Ducks maintained he had flown off over the ocean, though she had never seen the ocean, and didn’t see him leave. His
plane was gone. But no one ever saw him fly off. Though it was noted that a plane had been sold to the scrap
yard four towns over. But that was never confirmed.
It
was not long after that Ms. Ducks started sewing military uniforms for the high
school theatre class production of “ Flyboys
“, a little known musical.She never wore a wedding dress again, but she was seen to
wear an aviator cap for those Saturday markets where she sold her ducks.
Like I said, she was a bit of a quack…
Photographs 2023