Christmas Rat

 "What is there more kindly  than the feeling being Host and Guest..." -Aeschylus

 Unless the guest (or guests) is a Rat.  Squeaking between floors. When Humans are feasting.When it's Christmas. Between walls. Downstairs. In the vents.

 A rat? Did you say rat? Where? Ahh,Mr. Pooh. Yes, there's a rat...

 The Rat would  have races along the metal vents. Or crawl into the window seat and chew. In the night. In the dark. When the Christmas trees were the only things shining brightly.

 My Christmas rat , I would say. Hear him gnawing away in the corner by the back window. He sounds busy......

   That sound? I would say to our guests. Why, it's the Nature Channel. Then I would smile and turn up the "music". Gnaw Gnaw. Scuffle. Louder would go the Nature Channel....

 We tried cheese. Lots of cheese. to entice it out. It didn't like cheese. It liked  vents.Settling guests downstairs would find me looking up into the ceiling. The sound of the Rat ( rats? maybe plural) scrambling like horses.

 What's that sound? guests downstairs would ask. The nature Channel carries a long way,  my answer, making  a mental note to try the Spa channel next.....

 Even Spencer , mighty hunter, could not catch the Rat when he ventured out to the bird seed pan. A daily thing. I would see the Rat, fat and glorious in the seeds. Stuffing himself silly. Spencer trying to catch him as the Rat raced back up into the grape vines above......

 Then back into the vents he would come. Rat feet pitter patting. Dancing along.

 Christmas company, ever curious. You really like that Nature Channel, don't you? They would say. You must have left it on all night. By accident. Of course. 

 Squeaking. Chewing. Over the clink of cutlery. Over the sound of carol singing.Out of rhythm  with the songs. Then silence. At last. One day I thought I smelled dead rat. Ewww. Sniff Sniff. Mouldy sour. Hmmm.  Carton of coffee cream,  taken downstairs by a guest and left on the floor, behind a door.....

 The Christmas Rat never came back. I  think that was the day I turned off the Nature Channel finally. Then   I saw him. Hanging over the seed bowl outside. Before he took off into the dusk. Into the dark. Into the shed at the back. All was Silent all was Well. In the House. In the vents.....

 "Thank you for making me a part of this..."
                                     -Rizzo the Rat ( Muppet Xmas Carol)

Photographs 2018