Saturday, March 1, 2014

Everything you wanted to know about Deer Poop Jelly Beans but were afraid to know.....

 Bet you thought you'd never see deer poop jelly beans, front and centre. But here they are! In the snow, no less. What could be better. On a Saturday even. When it's brrrrr. Well,cold for the west coast. We have snow. See.
 Even the neighbours cats were excited to see me out digging in the snow at dawn. Couldn't stop from circling around each other. Made it really tough getting a photo.  Swirling, swishing tails.....
 Deer poop is great. Well, not that you'd notice right away. But plop those suckers on the blueberry bushes and it's instant gold.
 Spencer's not impressed. He just wanted snack. Or a bird. Or some warm weather. But look at all the Deer Jelly beans lying around, I said to him. Aren't you excited? Cheap manure. Doesn't smell. Comes in pebbles. Isn't that cool? Spencer just flopped  and purred.
 Items you will need in gathering your deer poop. Very scientific. Pay attention. Very important list. You might miss something: Shovel, Bucket, Broom, Gloves.  No need of a mask. There is no smell, and the jelly beans come in nice, neat little balls. Very tidy. How thoughtful of the deer...
 Approach Deer Poop Jelly Beans with respect. Do not squish any on your boots. Oh yes, did I mention you need boots to do this? Very important.
 Be sure to attack at the correct angle, so as to scoop up as much as possible......Great if you can get some snow in the deer poop. Keeps it fresh.
 Watch out for sitting Varied Thrush. They are watching the cats, the cats are watching them, and they are all watching YOU pick up deer poop. Everyone is wondering  when you will go away. Then  the Thrush can eat seeds, the cats can chase the birds , and you can toss your deer poop, and give the neighbours a thrill.
   Be sure to approach larger areas of deer poop jelly beans with  more gusto. The more the merrier for your blueberry and loganberry  bushes. Wave at the neighbours above you. They're probably thinking you're cracked by this point.
 Waste not, want not.  Seems rather appropo at this stage, don't you think.
 When you have filled up your bucket ( in this case, ice cream bucket), take it up to the back. First bucket went on the loganberries, next bucket ( oh yesssssss, there's MORE to be had) ,will go on the blueberries.
 When done, ( and you will know you are done when you're fingers freeze) ,sprinkle bird seed for the Thrushes. They will appreciate that. Tell Spencer and Smokey that they are wonderful at guarding. They will appreciate THAT. Then commence Deer poop Jelly Bean removal once  more....ad infinitum. You'll be an expert in the end........and the berry bushes will thank you.


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